The Illusion of Pressure

I've learned that although there's a difference between what I want to do and what I need to do, sometimes the challenge lies in teaching myself to want what I need. For example, let's say you have to learn a setlist for a band, and at first glance, the setlist seems kind of bland, making you feel like you're detouring from your creative work. One thing I've found valuable is if I can shift my perspective and find elements of what I've been working on anyway within my obligations for my professional work. This approach helps me not just connect the utility of doing what I need to do to how it relates to my goals, but it also gives me an appreciation for the task at hand. The goal for me has always been to try to be present and appreciate every opportunity I get to play. But if I can be honest, that's not how I've always felt. I can get in a way about the simplicity of what I have to do but thinking another way, it's not like the music I have to learn has nothing to teach me. I'm not perfect, and often times, I'm not a better musician in the context of that music than the person who recorded it.

Sometimes, I think a protective mechanism tries to kick in; my nervous system tries to protect my ego from ideas of inadequacy because, if I think about it at face value in that context, I feel inadequate, and it's not something I can alleviate a week before the gig. I can only do the best I can. The mental game can be a house of mirrors. You feel the pressure from all these glares that aren’t real. No one expects you to be the best pop/blues/rock/funk/jazz/gospel drummer in the world. Upon reflection, the “BEST” is an illusion. In all likelihood, you got the gig because they've heard you already and they know what you sound like, so why feel that pressure reflexively? That's what I mean by taking pleasure in everything that I play because every gig I get, I've already earned. I just have to do what I do without relying on the lie that there's always something better.

I've said probably a million times, “success isn't a straight line, but neither is life.” But insecurity and fear will convince you that the scenic route is just a detour, and then you can't enjoy the ride.  We're only in a hurry because we're afraid that we're being left behind.